Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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