He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
