Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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