His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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