Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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