I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
