We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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