moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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