no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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