dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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