i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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