Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize