dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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