Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
