my text book just quoted the cookie monster
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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