At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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