what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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