SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
