I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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