Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
