brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im six kinds of drunk right now
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
