I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
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