He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
