I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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