no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize