Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
