The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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