Me too!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize