Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
