I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
bring money and cleavage
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize