Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We got so high we made milksteak
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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