He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
