I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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