did you get engaged???
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
