Reggie can tackle my bush.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
