everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
