white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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