no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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