He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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