One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
whose parrot is this?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
