so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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