i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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