thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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