so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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