Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize