I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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