the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
