okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
