just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
