I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
