Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
