Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
