we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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