so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Farmville is her only friend.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize