I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
