you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
