just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
