**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
