mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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