Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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