Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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