Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
