So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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