I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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