If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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