we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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