theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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