she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
