Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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