You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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