Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
