It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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