So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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