My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
